The office of statistics today announced that the rate of inflation has risen to its highest level since 2014 mostly due to the plummeting pound.
BREXIT supporter Fred Grimes said, “how come things are getting dearer, I thought big firms selling our shit abroad were having a ball?”
It turns out that we import loads more shit than we export, so unless you’re some hippy running a website from home and you generate your own electricity, then the cost of fucking everything is going up!
Fortunately, the handful of CEO’s who run the big FTSE exporters will get a massive bonus due to the falling pound artificially massaging their profits. “Samuel Smith-Wendleson, CEO of Big Buyer Inc. Commented “Spiffingly brilliant news on the pound; my days were numbered before BREXIT fucked up our economy, now I’m on for a massive bonio in the new year thanks to our profits being up as much as the pound is down – who knew?!”