Cycling, a socialists favourite form of transport, recently adopted by city slickers as a quick and efficient way to navigate the cities congested streets, turns out to be quite tiring and cold on occasions it’s revealed.

Darren Wade, a city trader, took up cycling in the summer when he saw posh blokes riding Borris-bikes and an opportunity to spend more money on useless shit, decided it was the future. 

43 year old Darren, has since give up after regularly arriving late for work in his £3k suite sweating like a peodo in a Barney outfit, or more recently, frozen stiff!

“I like the idea of getting around the city quickly but the most exercise I’ve done in ten years is lift £9 Bombay Sapphire and Fevertree up to my mush.”: he said.